A dad’s role in brain development

By Cozette Laubser |

Most of preparing for pregnancy, birth, and parenthood revolves around the mother and baby. Certainly, for good reason and especially because so many of the medical care centers around mom and baby and how they are doing. But this does not mean that you dad, are any less important. In fact, new research continues to surfa­ce about the importance of a dad’s role during this magical time.

Before we talk about a dad’s role in brain development, let’s first explore the basic differences between growth and development.

GROWTH VERSUS DEVELOPMENT

Generally, parents think of learning as something that starts when a child goes to school, but learning starts much earlier than that. Learning had already started a few weeks after conception when your baby responded to touch and later to smell and taste and even later to sound and mostly after birth only, to sight. What is remarkable is that your baby’s ability to read, write and reason six and a half years later, when they enter Grade 1, is substantially developed before they are only 14 months old!

During the nine months in utero and the first 14 months of life, your baby is acquiring all the tools and equipment they will need to survive, grow and develop. Unfortunately, many people confuse growth with development and believe that if they feed their baby and keep him beautifully clean, healthy, and safe, all is well. That is a fantastic starting place, but your baby needs more than food and a clean nappy to develop. Babies need stimulation to develop and reach their full potential.

A full tummy helps the baby to grow, but it is age-appropriate brain stimulation that helps the baby to develop and to become clever.

Parents seldom realise that their new baby needs to learn a lot in the first year and that baby needs ample opportunity to move and learn by experience. An agile body and clever brain mean life’s challenges become less daunting and more approachable.

Brain stimulation occurs when you gradually and gently wake up all baby’s senses and muscles in a specific sequence. No matter how clever the brain is, it needs wide-awake senses and strong muscles to prompt the brain into action.

BABIES CAN ONLY LEARN WHAT THEY HAVE EXPERIENCED

• No experience = no learning
• Limited experience = limited learning
• Plenty of experience = plenty of learning

Include baby in your day, moment to moment. Touching, feeling, smelling, tasting, hearing and seeing what their world involves is a high intensity learning experience. It involves the senses and it involves moving the body. This is a great way for the body to become skilled and for the brain to adapt and learn age-appropriately.

WINDOWS OF OPPORTUNITY

Optimal learning takes place when appropriate stimulation is offered during sensitive timeframes in the baby’s development. These sensitive timeframes are called ‘windows of opportunity’. While brain plasticity enables babies and children to adapt, change and recover from trauma, it is essential to catch the windows of opportunity to optimize learning.

In the development of a child four major windows of opportunity exist:

• Opportunity to develop the body (Physical Development) from conception to 14 months.

• Opportunity to develop feelings and emotions (Emotional Development) from 14 months to 3 years.

• Opportunity to develop social skills to make friends (Social Development) from 3 – 4 years.

• Opportunity to develop language and thinking (Cognitive Development) from 4 – 11 years.

In the baby and toddler years, it is important to engage the senses and promote whole-body movement and play, as this is the brain’s preferred way of learning.

A DAD’S UNIQUE CONTRIBUTION TO BRAIN DEVELOPMENT

Dad needs alone time with his baby so that he can get to know him or her. And your baby needs you too, dad, because you don’t feel, smell, or sound the same as mom and these differences trigger the development of your baby’s brain. A baby builds a bridge between mom, the baby’s place of safety, and the real world through regular contact with dad. You, dad, are just as important to your baby as a mom is. Both mom and baby need the dad’s strength and clarity of thought while adapting to their new life.

Dad may not know what to do with the baby quite as instinctively as mom does, because he didn’t have a nine-month head start connecting with the baby every moment of every day. However, choosing to massage, and/or bathe, your baby every day is the perfect opportunity to establish a ‘developmental date’.

Adriano Milani Comparetti calls all kinds of stimulating experiences developmental dates. These are cell phone-free moments, moments of focussed contact between dad and baby, moments where we purposefully engage baby’s senses to get to know the world around them.

Dad, if you want your child to share in your talents and passions you need to expose them to them from a very early age. Watching you, learning from you, and spending time with you is a sure way to introduce them to the world that interests and excites you!

BEING A CARING ADULT S EASY IF YOU…

• turn everyday living into an interactive game;
• make time to have fun together;
• play with your baby and toddler;
• are not your toddler’s entertainment officer − he or she needs quiet time and alone time to develop creativity and initiative;
• are careful not to over-stimulate; more is not always better;
• make room for slow-down time − quiet time, no technology time;
• don’t feel pressurised to push your baby and toddler to out-perform others;
• are consistent and loving; and
• choose a wonderful caregiver to stand in for you from time to time.

WAYS FOR DAD TO SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH HIS CHILD

Dad and baby

• Make eye contact.
• Let baby nap on your chest, skin-on-skin.
• Wear your newborn baby.
• Encourage lots of floor time, on the back and on the tummy time.
• Push the baby in a stroller over different types of terrain – paving, tar, gravel – at an incline and down a slope.
• Play with your baby – it is impossible to play without moving. Babies need to wrestle, ride horse on dad’s foot, sit on dad’s back, and be swung (gently!) through the air.
• Play ball games, it develops muscle strength, muscle control, motor planning, and balance.
• Read and/or sing to the baby every night.

“THE MORE PHYSICAL THE GAME, THE GREATER THE DEVELOPMENTAL GAIN” Dr. Melodie de Jager

Dad and the older child

• Go outdoors: Take a hike, go fishing, or camp out overnight. While you’re out there in the fresh air, you might clean up some litter, learn about nature and use the opportunity to teach the kids about personal safety and responsibility.
• Play sports: Kick, throw, and catch. These are complex skills for a young child!
• Game night: Games are a great way to build skills and share some laughs as a family. It is especially fun when friends come to visit.
• Family meals: Try turning food into a family affair by taking turns choosing some of your favorite recipes and letting the kids help in the kitchen. Another option is for you to create a unique mealtime tradition that is specific to Dad. ‘Dad’s Rules Dinners’: bacon and eggs in the evening, dinner in your pajamas, or Friday Night is hotdog time.
• Tool time: Allow the kids to help you around the house. Teach them how to measure and paint. Let them help you fix leaky taps and change light bulbs. Not only will they be happy to assist with some grownup chores, but you’ll also give them skills to use later in life.
• Volunteer together: Teach them how to make a difference in your community. You could help out at a soup kitchen and animal shelter or a nature conservation project. Together, you can build a better world.

De Jager, M. 2016. BabyGym. Welgemoed: Metz Press.

De Jager, M. 2017. Play Learn Grow. Johannesburg: Mind Moves Publishing.

De Jager, M.2019. Brain development MILESTONES and learning. Johannesburg: Mind Moves Publishing.

https://www.beliefnet.com/love-family/parenting/galleries/10-ways-dads-can-enjoy-quality-time-with-the-kids